


All The Warmth In My Veins

by Parker_Haven_Wuornos



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: (kind of), AU- Jennifer is Immune, Bodyguard Romance, Camping, Canon Never Said She Wasn't, F/F, Gals being pals, Implied Threegulls, Justice for Underwritten Female Characters, Prompt Fic, Stargazing, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23248702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parker_Haven_Wuornos/pseuds/Parker_Haven_Wuornos
Summary: Jordan liked her work with the guard— as she had told herself increasingly often over the past couple weeks— but those weren’t the jobs she wanted. She knew they wanted her because of her trouble. And really, was the fact that she was especially good at hurting people a good reason to be wanted?Regardless of what Jordan did or didn’t see in Jennifer—which was nothing. Obviously— someone out there thought she was special and important which meant that she was in danger. After much debate, it was decided Jennifer would be banished to the woods with Jordan to protect her."It won't involve your trouble at all," Dwight had promised.Be careful what you wish for, Jordan
Relationships: Jennifer Mason/Jordan McKee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	All The Warmth In My Veins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gendernoncompliant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendernoncompliant/gifts).



> A week ago I made a joke to Ashe that Jordan and Jennifer should date because they were both mishandled and treated badly in canon. They sent me this prompt, and I loved getting to write it.

She liked her work with the guard— as she had told herself increasingly often over the past couple weeks— but these weren’t the jobs she wanted. She knew they didn’t send her because she was empathetic, or smart, or a better than average waitress, or a fucking spectacular mechanic, although she was all of those things, they wanted her because of her trouble. 

And really, was the fact that she was especially good at hurting people a good reason to be wanted? 

Of course, two days after she’d complained about this to Dwight, he’d come up with the perfect job for her. 

_“It won’t involve your trouble at all, I promise.”_

_This is why you read the fine print,_ Jordan thought, looking over the leaping flames at her companion. 

Jennifer was a lot of things, Jordan figured. She was small, pretty, high energy, sweet but surprisingly stubborn. All good things, in Jordan’s book, but all undercut by the fact that she never fucking stopped talking. 

After everything that had happened, Jordan hated Nathan, but whatever his flaws were, at least he didn’t _talk._

Jennifer didn’t just talk. Jennifer babbled. She monologued. She ranted. 

And Jordan stared at her in silence, dreaming of the days when she would go into these woods with her mother, and the two of them would discuss astrology and herbs and the cycles of the world in low voices, always drowned out by the sounds of the wind shifting the trees. 

“And after high school I just really had no idea what I wanted to do, you know? But I really felt like I had to get out there and see the world. I put down a deposit for UCLA but then my mom got sick and my dad had just died… I couldn’t just leave her! So I stayed in Boston, and that wasn’t the worst, but sometimes—”

It was mind numbing. A brutal, hours-long soliloquy about her life and how she’d ended up troubled and crazy in Haven. Jordan wondered if she would also recount parts for which Jordan had been present. 

Except that Jennifer wasn’t troubled. 

_“She’s something else,”_ Dwight had said. _Something special._

And she certainly was something else. Though Dwight’s low tone had somehow implied that she was some powerful otherworldly being, rather than a perfectly normal, if excessively chatty, woman.

Regardless of what Jordan did or didn’t see in her—which was nothing. Obviously— someone out there thought she was special and important which meant that she was in danger. After much debate, of which Jordan hadn’t been a part, it was decided that Jennifer would be banished to the woods with someone in the guard to protect her. 

Now, the guard had plenty of extremely capable bodyguards—Haven specialized in very large men with squinty eyes and too many guns—but they were unfortunately, and irritatingly, short on women. 

Jordan understood the reasoning behind choosing her; they were in close quarters in the middle of nowhere. God knew Jordan would rather cut off her own hand than be stranded in the woods with a strange man, but that limited the number of people who were able to handle this task. Given that Henrietta made Jordan look like Mr. Rogers, there really was no competition. 

“And Duke thought I should probably stay in Haven, which was nice of him, but I don’t really know what I’m doing here. He and Nathan have troubles and Audrey is everyone’s savior—” 

Jordan snorted. “Listen, I don’t know what propaganda you’ve been fed, but those three only save people to make themselves feel better.” 

“That’s not true,” Jennifer insisted. “Once they got Audrey out of the barn, they could have just left me but they didn’t.” 

“Yeah, because you’re useful to them.” 

“If I was useful, they’d have kept me in Haven instead of sending me out here.” 

Whether she’d meant it to or not, that stung; the same could easily be said of Jordan. They could spare her for days if they needed to, and no one would even blink at her absence. 

“Duke is my friend,” Jennifer said, a little more softly. “And Nathan and Audrey are his… whatever they are; I trust them.” 

“Duke murders troubled people, Nathan is the reason there still are troubled people, and Audrey shouldn’t even be here. They only care about each other; trust me, if the time comes when one of them has to choose between you or each other? They’ll choose each other every time.” 

Jennifer’s eyes were dark and round, studying Jordan from the other side of the fire. She stared for a long moment, and Jordan began to suspect she wanted to say something, and the fact that what she wanted to say might be something kind— or worse, pitying— made Jordan’s chest tighten. 

“Whatever,” Jordan said. “I’m glad you get to get away from Crocker Spaniel and company, that’s all.”

Jennifer’s lips twitched. Jordan had noticed that she smiled more easily than any Havenite she’d ever met. “He does follow them around a lot, doesn’t he?” 

“Like a loyal dog.” Jordan hesitantly returned the smile. Even more hesitantly, she opened a conversation. “Have you ever been camping before?” 

Jennifer shook her head, which Jordan had expected. “Both my parents were literature professors; they preferred vacations with museums. Have you?” 

Jordan nodded slowly, not sure how much she wanted to say. “Yeah. A lot.” 

“Did you go as a kid?” 

She nodded again, looking away from those glittering round eyes. “My mom took me. She liked the woods, kind of a hippie type, you know?” 

Jennifer nodded, her smile so encouraging that Jordan found herself going on. “We went nearly every weekend in the summer, and then as I got older she taught me how to camp when it was colder.” 

“You could survive anything, couldn’t you?” Jennifer asked eagerly. “Like one of those people whose plane crashes and they have to live in the woods until they get rescued.” 

She looked away. Of course she could. That was what everyone thought. Tough Jordan. Strong Jordan. She’ll get through anything. Just get over it. 

Lifting a stick off the ground, Jordan hurled it into the fire, sending up a wave of sparks. Jennifer sat back, startled as flurries of ash drifted around her. 

The silence stretched on until Jennifer said, “Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry. I just talk so much, my mom always used to say I needed to learn to hold onto my words or one of them would escape and hurt somebody.” 

“Your mouth should be like a jail,” Jordan said, feeling an unexpected smile come back. “My mom said the same thing.” 

“‘Only the ones you want to let out should be able to escape’,” Jennifer said. “Still haven’t figured that one out.” 

Jordan laughed. “Spend some more time in Haven. We’re all experts at not saying things.” 

Jennifer’s eyes dropped, her feet kicking at the dirt. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that.” 

“It’s not personal,” Jordan said. “That’s how we are with everyone.” 

“Even Audrey?” Jennifer asked. 

Jordan snorted. “Especially Audrey. I almost felt bad for her sometimes.” 

Jennifer looked like she was about to say something, but Jordan held up her hand, silencing her. 

Over the familiar, comforting sounds of the woods at night, Jordan was sure she’d heard something. She knew what this was supposed to sound like, and the sharp snap of a twig, just close enough to be audible, wasn’t quite part of it. 

“Stay here,” She whispered to Jennifer. “I’ll be back.” 

She didn’t take her gloves off, but she unbuttoned them so she could do so more easily if needed. She hadn’t brought a gun; this was a common hiking and camping area and it was too risky. Still, she crept forward, hiding in the shadow of trees she passed, getting closer to where the sound had come from with every careful, silent step. 

Her mother had taught her this, how to walk silently on a thick forest floor, how to place your feet lightly, but with utmost confidence so that nothing broke underneath them. It had become a habit for Jordan, to walk like that. Years later, she did it without thinking, but tonight, clouded with memories Jennifer had dredged out of her, Jordan remembered being a little girl and needing to learn. 

“Jordan?” 

“Jesus!” She nearly lept out of her skin, whipping around to face Jennifer, hitting her with her hair in the process. “What are you doing here? This is the exact opposite of what I told you to do!” 

“I’m not waiting at camp!” Jennifer insisted, and it was dark, but Jordan was pretty sure she actually stomped her foot. “You don’t have a weapon and the guys that are after me are dangerous—” 

“Jen, I _am_ a weapon. I’ll be fine, and really, what is it that you think you’re going to do? Strangle him with your scarf?” 

“I could!” 

“Keep your voice down!” Jordan hissed. “Just go back to camp; I’ll be right there.” 

“I’m going with you,” Jennifer said. 

Jordan groaned and looked up at the sky, wondering what she had done in this life or any other to deserve everything that had led her to this point. “Jennifer, I am begging you—” 

“And I am ignoring you.”

Jordan stared at Jennifer’s outline, saw the tense line of her shoulders, the alert way she was carrying herself, like a deer about to flee. 

Jordan felt her shoulders relax. She let her breath out. Jennifer was scared, and leaving her alone would only make it worse. “Fine, but stay close, and if I say run—” 

“I’ll run,” Jennifer promised. 

She felt like a kindergarten teacher when she finally stepped forward, with Jennifer literally clinging to the back of her coat as they advanced on the source of the sound. 

This far from the fire, it was hard to see, nearly impossible for most people, but Jordan had been in and around these woods her whole life, and her eyes knew how to adjust to absolute darkness better than most people. Whoever they were up against didn’t know what they were up against. In Haven she was intimidating. Out here, she was unstoppable. 

Next to them, a bush rattled in a distinctly un-windlike way. Something was hiding in there. 

“Jordan?” Jennifer whispered, barely a breath against Jordan’s ear. 

“I see it,” Jordan replied. She tugged one of her gloves off and held out her hand, ready to pull branches aside with the other. 

Slowly, she reached out, inch by inch, terrified of alerting their intruder to their presence. She had just barely gripped the leaves when something leapt out of it, soaring past them and towards the sky. 

Without thinking, Jordan grabbed Jennifer and spun her away from the thing, pinning her to a tree and covering her small body with her own. 

She took a second to breathe and realized, horrifyingly too late that her bare hand was pressed against Jennifer’s mouth. 

She jerked it away as if _she_ were the one in pain. “My god, I’m so sorry, Jen, I’m so—” 

But Jennifer wasn’t screaming or falling unconscious at her feet. She was tilting her head, watching Jordan curiously with shining, forest-dark eyes. 

_Immune_ . The word flashed, uncomprehended, through Jordan’s mind. _She’s special,_ Dwight had said. _She’s something else._

Jordan swallowed. “You’re… you’re immune.” 

Jennifer frowned. “Jordan, are you okay?” She reached up, completely oblivious, and touched Jordan’s chin. Her fingers were so soft and so cold. 

“I’m… fine.” But she wasn’t really fine. The same blindsiding effect she’d felt when Nathan had touched her was in full effect. She was dizzy, suddenly desperate, aching to grab Jennifer’s hands and hold them against her neck, her hands, her mouth. 

That had been Nathan’s real appeal. He was fine—until he wasn’t— but really he was someone she could touch. Someone who made her real. 

And now Jennifer could, and that was so much better, but in some ways, so much worse. It was easy to keep distance with Nathan, with Jennifer... 

“Jordan, what was that thing? Are you okay? Did it hurt you?” Jennifer asked. 

“Owl,” Jordan said stupidly, still reeling. “Why… why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” Jennifer asked. “I’m pretty sure I told you everything on the drive out here.” 

That cleared Jordan’s head a bit, made her smile. “You’re… you didn’t tell me you were immune to the troubles. No one told me that.” 

Jennifer tilted her head. “I’m what?” 

Dear god. She didn’t even know. What if… Jordan ran through the possibilities. Was it a fluke? Was it just Jennifer? Was she cured? 

“Have you touched Nathan?” Jordan asked. If he could feel her, that at least would prove that it was Jennifer. 

“Why would I?” Jennifer replied, both confused and faintly weirded out. 

That shook through the questions that were circling endlessly through Jordan’s mind and shocked a laugh out of her. The laugh kept coming, several seconds after it needed to, until it just sounded hysterical. Jordan couldn’t catch her breath, she might have been crying. 

“Are you…” Given the obvious answer, Jennifer must have decided against the question. Instead, she carefully took Jordan’s hand— the one without the glove, which did nothing to help Jordan catch her breath—and carefully led her back to the campsite. 

They sat together on the same log this time, rather than across the flames. Jordan noticed the difference immediately. No one aside from Nathan had sat this close to her since her trouble had started, and only some of that was their choice. 

Jennifer was rubbing her back and she was talking again, but this time Jordan didn’t find it annoying. It was good to have something to listen to, something other than her own thoughts which were still racing. 

“I’ve had panic attacks before, and they feel horrible. My friend ran the Boston Marathon and I swear she looked better after that than I do after a panic attack. Just take a few deep breaths and—” 

“I’m not having a panic attack,” Jordan said. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jennifer said. “You’re talking to the girl that hears voices, remember? There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Her smile felt a bit more normal, less painful, now. “I’m not ashamed. I’ve had panic attacks; I know this isn’t one.” 

“So… what is it? Is uncontrollable laughing part of your trouble?” 

Jordan laughed again, and she realized she’d done more of that tonight than she had since before… since before her trouble had activated. “No, I’m just… surprised.” 

“Surprised that I’m immune? Me too, I have no idea what to do with that.” 

“It makes you really important,” Jordan said. She thought about Audrey, about the way people fell over themselves to protect her, but that they were just as quick to throw up obstacles in her way. For months, Audrey had been forced to operate on half the knowledge everyone else in town had, and that had thrown her in danger more often than it had kept her out of it. 

That wouldn’t happen to Jennifer, Jordan decided. Audrey had Crocker and Nathan to look out for her, and Jennifer would have Jordan, and there wasn’t a person in Haven who would dare fuck with her, knowing that. 

“What am I going to do?” Jennifer asked. “I mean… I’m not a hero. I’m… I’m a quirky love interest or plucky sidekick at best—”

“Don’t say that,” Jennifer said. “If it weren’t for you, they’d never found the door, Crocker would never have made it back to Haven—” 

“You hate Duke,” Jennifer interrupted. 

Jordan rolled her eyes. “Just because I’m not thrilled with everything you’ve done doesn’t mean I don’t think you’ve done anything. My point,” She said, with just a touch of exasperation, “Is that you can hold your own with them easily. Don’t sell yourself short.” 

Slowly, Jennifer’s lips curled up into a smile that put the campfire to shame. “You think I can be like them?” 

“I think you don’t have to.” Carefully, terrified that she’d been mistaken earlier, Jordan reached out and took Jennifer’s hand. “I think you shouldn’t want to. You’re great as you are.” 

Jennifer’s whole face changed, softening and opening up, glowing with firelight and excitement. “You think so?” 

Jordan looked away, staring at her shoes. “Yeah, I do.” 

“I think you’re the first person I’ve met since this mess began that doesn’t want anything from me.” 

Jordan studied the hand she was holding rather than meet Jennifer’s eyes. She knew better than most people what it was like to be used and discarded by that trio of morons. “You don’t owe them anything,” Jordan said. 

“They were nice to me,” Jennifer said quietly. 

“They’ll be nicer when they know you’re immune.” She couldn’t keep the note of bitterness out of her voice. “And you still won’t owe them anything.” 

Jennifer twisted her hand so that their fingers were interlocked. “I don’t have to tell them yet. Can you keep a secret?” 

Jordan smiled. “They’ll never get anything out of me.” 

Even if she was tortured for keeping that secret—not that she really thought she would be—it would be worth it for the smile she got in return. Jordan found herself feeling awkward and blushy in a way she hadn’t since she was fourteen and Angela Bowers had done her makeup at a sleepover. 

“Jordan,” She’d admonished cheerfully, “You’re so pretty with your hair out of your face and lighter makeup, see?” But Jordan hadn’t been thinking of her own face when she’d nodded and said yes. She’d been thinking of Angela’s smile, her long blond hair. 

And now Jennifer was holding her hand, and it wasn’t just the long-absent touch, it was the way Jen was looking at her like they had a secret and were on an adventure, like she was up to something and wanted Jordan to be in on it. 

And, not unlike with Angela, Jordan figured she’d probably break a lot of laws for and with this girl, if only because she made her laugh and made her want to give a shit. 

She wanted to say something. She really felt like she should say something, but even Jennifer wasn’t talking, and the silence was big and soft and wide open, ready for something to fill it, but not desperate for it. 

“So what else is out here?” Jennifer asked. 

“What?” Jordan asked, feeling like she’d been pulled out of the water and wasn’t yet sure how to breathe. 

Jennifer laughed, and Jordan smiled with her, even if she didn’t get the joke. “I know there are owls, but what else?” 

“Uh… bears?” Jordan said, then regretted it when Jennifer looked scared. “And, uh, deer. Cute, small, deer.” 

“Are there moose?” Jordan nodded. “You know, I’ve never really believed moose are real.” 

“What?” It was so ridiculous that Jordan laughed, and Jennifer laughed with her and that felt good, that felt better, more real, than touch. “Of course they’re real!” 

“They’re so big! Things that are that big just don’t exist.” 

“So, not a fan of whales then?” 

“Well, have you ever seen a whale? They might not be real either.”Jennifer said.

“Yeah?” 

“Wait, really?” Jennifer leaned in eagerly.

Jordan laughed. “Yes. Depending on the season we get them around here. You should also go to the Haven Moose Farm, it’ll change your life.” 

Jennifer looked at her slyly. “Well, I’m not sure it’s safe. I probably shouldn’t go without protection.” 

Jordan really hoped she was right about what Jennifer was doing, but she didn’t want to hope too hard. She wasn’t lucky. She had terrible taste. She was a disaster. This girl, _this girl_ , with her sweet smile and bright eyes, was not flirting with Jordan. 

But caution had gotten her nowhere in life. She had been cautious with Nathan, and had still fallen too hard and crashed and burned. _At least this time it will be someone worth burning for,_ Jordan thought. 

“Well, then I guess I’ll have to go with you. For protection.” 

Jennifer beamed, stealing Jordan’s breath. “Then it’s a date.” 

“A date?” Jordan felt stupid and hopeful, high school all over again. 

Jen chewed her lip. “If, you know, if you want it to be.” 

“I uh… yeah. I’d like that.” Her face was burning, and she wanted to blame the still-blazing fire, but she knew it was Jennifer that had brought her to this point. 

It took a lot to make Jorden feel this floored, this lost and out of her element, and this five foot nothing troubled pixie dream girl had done it with ease. 

The silence grew again, not awkward, but Jordan missed Jennifer’s voice. 

“Tell me more about the woods,” Jennifer said. “Explain why I should like camping.” 

It should have felt like safe territory, talking about her favorite place, about things she knew and was good at, but it felt intimate somehow. 

“Come with me,” Jordan said, embracing the beautiful danger of it, like throwing her arms out to balance on a seawall while waves crashed beneath her. “I’ll show you something.” 

She led her away from their little campsite and into a clearing a couple hundred feet away. She stood behind Jennifer and pointed up. “Look.”   
Jennifer did, following her finger. “Wow.” 

“Can’t get that in Boston,” Jordan said, proud, as if she had painted these stars just to show Jennifer. 

“Do you know anything about them?” 

Jordan sighed. “I know what my mother taught me. She loved astrology.” 

“Can you tell my future?” 

She wished she could, wished she could assure her that she had one that was long and bright. “No, I just know the stories. There’s Andromeda.” Jordan took Jennifer’s hand and guided it to the stars that made up Andromeda’s vaguely triangular form. 

“I know that story!” Jennifer said eagerly. “She was chained to a rock as a sacrifice because her mother insulted the gods and the people in her kingdom were being killed by a sea monster.” 

Jordan nodded. “She was rescued, but her constellation still shows her chained up.” 

“Hmm, that’s sad.” Jennifer moved back, pressing against Jordan. She hadn’t even realized how close they really were, but now there was no space between Jennifer’s back and Jordan’s chest. It would be easy—completely natural—to wrap her arms around Jennifer. She didn’t though, instead she pointed out Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. 

“I hope those are the only bears we see tonight,” Jennifer said, and Jordan laughed even though it wasn’t very funny. 

They fell silent, a good silence, while they both watched their little piece of the sky. 

“It reminds me of a poem my father read to me,” Jennifer said. 

_“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;_

_I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”_

Jordan had to swallow hard. Two lines of poetry and she was choked up, near tears. 

“I was scared,” Jennifer said, turning around. “I was scared before we came out here. I’m not scared anymore.” 

She pressed her lips against Jordan’s, and now Jordan’s arms did slide around her, leaning in to the careful kiss, exploring softly. She was so small there, and so strong, and so soft. 

Perhaps Jordan’s soul had been in darkness for a long time, but this was perfect light. 

They broke apart too soon, breathless. Jennifer sank down, separating them further. Jordan hadn’t even realized she’d been standing on her toes. They stayed like that, holding each other under their stars for a while, until Jordan felt Jennifer shiver. 

“We should go back to camp,” She said quietly. 

Jennifer nodded. “Yeah.” 

Neither of them moved. Jordan bent down and kissed her again. Jen’s lips were cold, but still soft, and she slipped her tongue easily between them, tasting sweetness there, catching the sigh she let out. 

When she pulled away, she led Jennifer back to their fire, pulling the log closer to it so they could get warm. She wanted more, but she didn’t want to move too fast, she wanted to chase that feeling, that light, to the ends of the earth. 

“What will we tell them when we get back?” Jennifer asked. 

Jordan held on tighter. “We don’t have to tell them anything.” 

“They'll know. They’ll see me touching you and know.” 

“They don’t have to—”   
“I want them to see us,” She said. 

“Me too,” Jordan admitted. 

“Then we’ll tell them the truth. They need us.” 

Jordan found that, in this case, she didn’t mind being needed, just a little. Not if it was for her.


End file.
